The Burden Of Cain
by redcolours
Summary: Set after 9x13 and focuses on the consequences of Dean accepting the Mark of Cain. Hurt!Dean and Care!Sam. All rights to Supernatural, CW. UA (Universe Alteration).
1. Chapter 1

Dean blinked. He must have passed out. He tried to remember the last time he was conscious but all he could think about was black eyes. Lots of them. Working for Abaddon. He tried to move his body but it ached so badly he just wanted to lie where he was for ever and not have to worry. Wait….where was he?

Dean blinked again, this time he could make out the outline of a fuzzy room. He looked round and realised he was on an old sofa, in, what looked like an abandoned house. He saw Sam. Sam! He was okay, thank god. So, what happened?

He was starting to remember and the appearance of a certain trenchcoated man confirmed his recollection. Sam and Dean had been tracking down a group of demons who were working for Abaddon so they could find her. Thinking about it now, Dean wondered why they bothered. They didn't have the first blade yet as Crowley's people were still searching for it. So why did they go after a bunch of demons without any long-term outcome? It was probably just the excitement of killing some sons of bitches, Dean thought. He could tell that both him and Sam were becoming bored of the same silent research and awkward conversations about who should go for the beer run. Dean hated it, he knew he had done the right thing by his brother. Why was Sam so against his own well-being?

Focusing, Dean back-tracked, concentrating on the events of the hunt. He remembered taking out two demons but then something happened. That was it. A pain...all over his body. It was weird and it felt like it was radiating from his forearm. The mark. Damn! That must have been what had made him pass out. The last thing he recalled was collapsing on the floor of the demon's warehouse before spotting Cas appearing in front of him, angel blade at the ready.

Before Dean could even move anymore he was interrupted by a voice which could have belonged to a worried child's.

'Dean!' Sam rushed to Dean's side from where he sat on a wooden chair. Castiel, who was standing, also came and stood by the sofa looking over the brothers with care.

'You okay' Sam continued. Dean moaned as he realised his eyes were only half open and his body was coated in sweat. Wow, he must have been more messed up than he thought. He tried to convey that he was okay but nothing came out of his mouth but more moans.

It took him a couple of minutes to get his head straight and to prop himself up on the sofa and Sam's worried comments didn't help. When he was finally stable did Castiel start throwing concerns.

'Dean, that mark-'

'Yeah, I know. Mark of Cain, pretty peachy apparently' Dean replied with a sarcastic tone as he took a gulp of the bottle of water that Sam had handed him. His mouth still felt dry even with this gulp but that was the least of his problems.

'Dean!' Castiel's harsh, loud voice rang through the old house. It made Sam jump and forced Dean to look up into those blue eyes as the angel continued. 'You don't understand! Bearing that mark is dangerous. Elders used to say even the mere mention of it could wipe out masses of angels.'

'Well, you're still here'

'It's not funny, Dean! Can't you see what it's doing to you?'

Dean looked over to Sam to judge the severity of the situation and it wasn't good. Sam looked broken and troubled, kind of like he used to look before Dean had made the conversations awkward. All eyes were on Dean as he attempted to sooth the concerned expressions in the room.

'Look...I hit a rough patch, that's all'

'How can you say that? Look at you, Dean?' Sam attacked back, whilst gesturing at Dean's weak body.

'Has this happened before?' Cas demanded.

'What? No!' Dean could tell he was losing the crowd but he honestly felt better now and just wanted to forget about it. 'I'm fine.' Sam gave a small laugh as he turned away from the group, looking towards the broken window at the side of the house. 'Look, this weapon or mark or whatever this thing is, yeah, it sucks...but it's also the only way of killing Abaddon. I mean, that's got to be the main priority here. Come on!'

'You have no idea what it's doing to you' Castiel retorted back with an air of superiority in his voice.

'Yeah and I don't really wanna know, so can we keep it like that'

'You should never have agreed to take the burden, Dean' Cas seemed genuinely upset at this point and it reminded Dean of the angel's time as a human and exactly how much effect it had had on him but nonetheless Dean argued back.

'And I suppose you have a much easier and better way of getting rid of Abaddon!?'

Castiel was stumped as all three of the men knew there was no other option with the knights of hell.

'Dean...the mark isn't just a weapon.' Cas began. 'It's an energy consumer. It feeds off the bearer like a parasite, collecting enough energy so it can use the first blade to kill demons. That's why you collapsed.'

Beginning to understand what they were dealing with, Sam interrupted Cas. 'You said Abaddon was at the demons hideout'

'Yes.' Cas replied. 'When you ran into those demons, quite recklessly I must say, the mark could sense Abaddon's power. It began draining energy from you, preparing to pick up the first blade and turn it into a deadly weapon. The amount of power being radiated from you, Dean, all angels on earth could feel it. I came as soon as I could but I was too late and you collapsed right in front of me'

Dean nodded but was more than confused. 'Cain seemed pretty perky to me when he had this print, and, I mean, he wore it for years before me. What makes him so special?'

Sam and Cas shared a look at Dean and for a second it felt like the old times. Dean hated the patronising looks after his stupid comments but he didn't half miss them.

'The mark wasn't meant for humans.' Cas answered. 'Demons can't be killed by the conventional means so they can afford to have their life sucked out of them...if they have any life left. Besides, Cain is the first demon...spiller of family blood, brutal murderer of thousands-'

'Okay, I get it' Dean answered back. 'Oh, and you might want to check that story you have of the dude because the guy seemed pretty stand-up when I met him'

There it was again, the shared look from his brother and friend, this time with a disappointed exhale of breath. Sam decided to take this one.

'Say again?'

Dean knew this would make for a great story and sat up a bit more to tell it. 'Yeah, it turns out, he didn't kill Abel because he was jealous. Cain made a deal with the devil in exchange for his brothers soul in heaven''

'That's impossible' Castiel replied instantly.

'Oh, I'm sorry, have you met the guy?'

'Dean, he's a demon' Sam agreed. 'He could just be lying-'

'Oh, whatever you guys want to believe but why would he give me this mark so that we could kill Abaddon?'

'The mark is draining you Dean.' Castiel replied. 'If anything, Cain is probably working with Abaddon. He trained her himself and she's his last knight of hell'

'Cain killed the knights of hell.' Dean stated honestly, waiting a moment for the news to kick in.

'What? No...the archangels killed them, why would he…?' Castiel now looked more confused than ever and couldn't quite comprehend the information being given to him.

'He's on our side, trust me. He wants demons as dead as we do. Now, instead of sitting around talking like girls we should go and find this bitch.'

Dean attempted to stand but he stumbled and would have fell to the floor if it wasn't for Sam lifting his weight.

'You're not going anywhere until you've rested up' Sam ordered, suddenly controlling the situation. Now that Dean had stood up he felt worse again and he could feel himself blacking out a second time. Sam must have sensed Dean's quick deterioration as he turned to a static Castiel. 'Can you teleport us somewhere safer...preferably with a bed'

Cas shook himself and laid a hand on each of the boy's shoulders ready to take them to the nearest motel. Dean felt his feet lift off the ground as he drifted into unconsciousness again.


	2. Chapter 2

It had been a couple of days since the incident with Dean's mark. He was improving and was almost back to his old self. In some ways Dean was glad it had happened. At least now he knew what it was doing to him and now the conversations between him and Sam were more like the old days. Dean could tell he was still mad at him but he was also worried and it was the closest Dean and Sam had been in months.

Castiel was also around. He had refused to leave the bunker until he was certain Dean was okay but they all knew that, with the mark, Dean was only going to get worse. The brother's had never asked Cas what his plan was with getting the angels back into heaven and hunting down Metatron, or whether he even had a plan but all of them just enjoyed being together. None of them wanted to have to think about the paranormal right at that moment.

Dean tried to keep up the pretence that he was back on his feet and Sam and Cas seemed to be convinced but, the truth was, Dean felt awful. If this was what one mark felt like, he couldn't imagine what it was like for Sam to have to go through all those trials to close the gates of Hell. Dean had gone off his food, which was unusual and still had a mellow aching from his arm, which became worse in the night. He thought he was fooling the others but Sam could tell he was unwell and this became a problem since Sam had refused to be brothers anymore. Castiel knew nothing of how bad Sam and Dean's issues were and did the right thing which was to stay out of it. Cas knew Sam and Dean, and he knew that they would be friendly again in time.

XXXXX

It was a week since the attack on the demons and Sam had found something strange whilst researching. 21 unrelated people all went missing within the last 3 days in a small town, a few hours west of the bunker. Even for demons, this felt odd. Demons don't normally pay attention to themselves but, putting their heads together, they figured out it must be Abaddon trying to recruit as many demons to work for her as she could.

'It could be Crowley,' Castiel suggested. 'He's also trying to recruit demons and this could just be him trying to find the first blade.'

'No, it's not,' Dean replied, slamming the laptop lid down in front of Sam. 'Cain had said that he had hidden the blade in the ocean. Crowley wouldn't be doing this, he said he would get all his people working on searching for the blade. There's no way this is him,'

'Dean-' Cas started but surprisingly Sam agreed with his brother.

'He's got a point, Cas. I mean, Crowley wants Abaddon as gone as we do. Why would he waste his time facing up to her?'

Castiel sighed. He began to think the whole situation was fishy but he continued nonetheless, questioning Dean. 'What exactly was Crowley's deal with you?'

Ever since he collapsed, Dean hated this sense of unreliability that Cas had associated with him, almost like, because of this evil mark on him, Dean wasn't to be trusted.

'He would find the blade if I ganked the bitch,' Dean replied in a monotone voice, tired of the same questioning looks and cautious tones. This blunt sentence, silenced the room for a moment whereby Sam and Cas began to realise that Dean was still Dean, and that they shouldn't be putting so much scrutiny on him.

Sam broke the silence. 'How do we know when he's found it?'

'He said he would contact me.' Dean continued, bored of this tentative attitude from the others. 'No sign of him.' He said, sarcastically looking around. 'So, I'm guessing he's still searching for the thing.'

With the air cleared Dean wanted to move on. 'So...are we gonna go to this town and kill these sons of bitches?'

Castiel turned around, half-smiling at Dean's comment, unwilling to say anymore to the conversation, whilst Sam stood up immediately. 'Dean...no. You know we can't. Look at what happened the last time we even got close to Abaddon.'

Dean chuckled to himself before looking at Sam sternly. 'We're going.'

'No, we're not!' Sam argued.

'So, what, Sam? We let those assholes kidnap more people?...Possess more bodies?' Dean replied, getting angrier at this demon-forbidden curfew.

Sam added to the sighing and looked over to Cas for some non-verbal advice. Cas had nothing but spoke anyway.

'I could...go,' he offered.

'What, alone? No way!' Dean replied, not wanting anyone else to get hurt or for him to miss out on destroying some evil dickheads.

Knowing that was probably a better idea, Sam still also disagreed. 'He's right, Cas,'

Dean was not used to this new agreement that he and Sam had and he still wasn't sure whether it was because of the mark or because Sam was just thinking about what was best for everyone. He didn't really care what the reason was.

Castiel was at a loss. 'So...what?' he said, gesturing to them quickly with his empty hands.

'We all go.' Dean replied plainly. 'Together. Okay, Abaddon might be there but that's just a risk we're going to have to take and you guys won't be able to take out a large group of demons alone. Okay, we're going.'

Castiel, about to speak and come up with a thousand reasons why it was a bad idea, was silenced by Sam.

'Cas, Abaddon might not even be there,'

'Exactly!' Dean continued, beginning to spark excitement in the room at the thought of a successful hunt. 'I mean, how often does a knight of hell get their hands dirty anyway?'

'Quite a lot actually,' Castiel retorted making both Sam and Dean look down at the ground in response.

Shrugging the comment off Dean picked up a rucksack, ready to throw it at Sam. 'Let's roll.'

XXXXX

Four demons killed and the trio were doing well. Sam and Dean had entered the shop, where they had tracked the demons to, from the front whilst Cas attacked from the back. The brothers advanced, eager to meet up with their angel so they could check upstairs together. It was at this point that everything fell apart.

A searing pain doubled Dean over. With the world around him becoming more out of focus he searched for Sam, for something to hold on to. He felt Sam's jacket and a hand helping him to his feet but the pain had blinded him now. He didn't know what was happening but he could hear footsteps making their way down the stairs. It must be Abaddon, she was here. Crap! Dean knew he shouldn't have come, he knew the guys were right. Dammit, he was scared.

'Dean. Dean!' Sam's yells pierced through Dean's body. It wasn't until this point that Dean realised that he was screaming. He needed to get out of here...damn, what had he done?

Meanwhile, Castiel, having killed the two demons guarding the back door, felt the pain before hearing the screaming. It was just like before, the radiation of energy. However it was so much more intense this time. Dean must be dead, he thought. He couldn't withstand that. Cas himself couldn't quite concentrate due to the energy being sucked from his friend. It was overwhelming. He would have gave way as well if it wasn't for the over-riding drive to save Dean. But how could he still be alive? How could anyone survive that?

'Well, well, well...my Winchesters.' said a female voice that forced Sam to finally look up into the face of Abaddon. Sam had nothing, he could do nothing as Dean's screaming stopped suddenly and his body flopped over lifelessly. With Dean still slumped on him, Sam breathed in and accepted the fact that they were both going to die, here, today.


	3. Chapter 3

Two hands grabbed Sam and pulled him upwards dumping Dean on the floor where he lay, still so motionless. Sam looked over to him.

'Dean?' No, he couldn't die. Dean couldn't die, not now. Sam had already been through this before...so many times. He couldn't do it again. A demon had hold of Sam like he was being arrested whilst Abaddon, and her two other demons, stood in the centre of the room like Gods and looked over the scene. The knight of hell smiled her eerie smile and Sam instantly felt uncomfortable.

'So,' Abaddon started, hands-on-hips ready like she could accomplish anything. '...my boys not feeling too good?'' indicating Dean's body on the floor of the repair shop.

Sam didn't reply to this but kept up the grim, rigid look on his face whilst breathing hard. Maybe she could be fooled into thinking that the boys had a plan, that they didn't just barge in here with no back-up and no first blade. Just keep up appearances, Sam thought. Just...die with dignity.

With no reply from Sam, Abaddon turned to kneel on the floor next to Dean who was pale and didn't seem to be breathing. With the same smile on her face, Abaddon stroked Dean's cheek almost with care and passion. This was the last straw for Sam.

'Don't touch him!' he yelled out, almost pathetically, like a kid being bullied in the playground. Abaddon turned to look back at Sam with recognition but not obedience. As she turned back to look over Dean again Sam wondered about how the hell he would get out of here. Where was Cas? He had said that he could feel the energy being consumed by the mark. Why wasn't he here? Had he really ran for it? No...that wasn't like him. He would be here. Sam just had to buy more time.

Abaddon, about to give up on this slumped body, was interrupted by a short out-take of breath from Dean's lips. Sam, over-hearing this, couldn't help be relieved.

'Dean! Dean, you okay?'

'What happened to him?' Abaddon ordered, bewildered by what was in front of her, amazed that she couldn't figure out what caused it and disappointed that it wasn't herself that had done it. With Sam forcing himself into silence and the other demons lost for words Abaddon finally noticed the unusual, but yet familiar mark, on Dean's inner arm. Lifting his arm up close to her face to double-check before chucking it back to a struggling Dean, Abaddon stood up furious, confronting Sam.

'Where did he get that?'

Sam said nothing. The more time he could waste, the better their chances of getting out of here.

Abaddon was not in the mood for waiting and grabbed Sam's collar bringing his face inches from hers. Before she could do anything else a flutter of wings made all heads turn towards the back of the shop, past where Dean lay, still unconscious but trying to intake breaths.

'Leave them alone.' The gruff voice rang throughout the room like an alarm. Abaddon, head now turned, let go of Sam and stood facing the angel.

'Castiel...' she began, not worried in the slightest that she was facing a celestial being. They're all just obnoxious peace-lovers that don't accomplish any peace, she thought. 'I haven't had the pleasure.' She had heard a lot about this one, annoying, little angel since she had arrived in this time period. Facing him now, she really didn't see what all the fuss was about. He wasn't even particularly hot, like they all said.

Castiel, having enough of the standing and staring at each other, spoke with determination. 'Let them go.'

'Haha...no.' Abaddon returned, laughing at her own bluntness. 'I would let you have him,' she continued, gesturing at the body at her feet. 'But...a girl needs to have her souvenirs. Besides, he's a good vessel. So, I know you probably wanted to get inside him but, I'm sorry, with that new tattoo he's got, he's mine.'

Castiel narrowed his eyes in confusion at the idea of him possessing Dean but continued with his invasion and stood his ground.

Becoming quite pissed off at this point Abaddon struck out. 'Look, I have no quarrel with your kind,' she yapped. 'Leave now, and we won't follow-'

'I have the blade,' Castiel interrupted.

Trying to play the oblivious, Abaddon acted casual, smiling back at this remark. 'Excuse me?'

'The first blade….I have it.' Cas knew this was the only way, however slight, that they could all get out of here alive. He just had to convince her. 'I give it to Dean, he kills you. Right here, right now.'

Chuckling nervously, Abaddon studied the weak Dean again. 'I don't think he looks up to it if you ask me.' she taunted.

'You know what the blade can do to you. Do you really want to take that risk?' Cas looked from Abaddon's blank expression to Sam, whose eyes were on Dean as if the constant stare would help ease Dean's suffering. Abaddon was not willing to just leave the two most dangerous hunters now that she had them in the palm of her hands. She decided to turn things around.

'Do you know, noble angel, what the mark does to the bearer? The changes that occur to the individual?'

'The energy transferral?' Cas implied slightly concerned, for the first time, that he may not have knowledge of the whole effects of the mark.

'Oh...' She answered, surprised that the angel even knew that much. 'Well, that is one part, the more…stable part.'

This heated conversation made Sam's attention return from Dean to the most powerful demon in the room..

'What are you talking about?' The worry in Sam's voice indicated to Abaddon that she had found his pressure point.

Turning around slowly, facing Sam once more, she spoke calmly as if to a child. 'The mark doesn't just consume energy. It changes the bearer in ways, even you hunters couldn't imagine.'

'What?' Sam said unintentionally, with Abaddon's face now close to his once more.

'Oh, you're brother is going through some, let's say, mid-life changes and I don't think you're going to like what comes out.'

Angry that he should have known or seen this coming Castiel interrupted. 'Enough!'

Both Sam and Abaddon turned to look at Cas, even the three other demons in the room diverted their eyes to him.

'Even if that were true-'

'Oh, trust me...it is-'

'It doesn't change anything. Dean will still be able to kill you with the blade. So...leave now, and we won't come after you.'

Lost for words, Abaddon couldn't comprehend what was happening. At least I have left an impact, she thought as she clicked her figures. The damage was done as all four demons disappeared from sight, and team free will were finally left alone in the small shop.

Sam, noticing he was no longer being held back, ran to Dean who was still making queasy sounds escape from his mouth.

'Dean! Dean! Come on!'

'Sam...we need to go,' Cas explained, still standing over the two broken brothers. Sam didn't answer as he felt tears coming on but refused to look weak. 'Sam!' The brother looked up at Cas directly. 'There are a group of 6 demons on their way here. Abaddon wasn't going to just let us leave. Come on!'

Castiel grabbed Sam's shoulder whilst Sam cradled Dean in his arms. The next moment, all three of them found themselves in the bunker. Safe, for now at least.

Sam's head was still spinning though and it wasn't due to the teleporting. What was going to happen to Dean? What did Abaddon mean about it changing him? Everything felt like all three of them were drowning and there was no way out.


	4. Chapter 4

'4 days.' Sam inferred angrily. 'It's been 4 days, Cas!'

'I know.'

'Then why isn't he waking up!?'

They had laid Dean's fragile body on the bed in his room. As soon as they had teleported out of the demon's base, Cas had tried to heal him. It was unsuccessful. Cas had said that it was as though there was nothing wrong with him, almost like there was not even a person there to heal. Sam and Cas knew that they were up against something they had never dealt with before.

Castiel had racked his brain to try and figure out what Abaddon had meant by the changes Dean would go through. Sam had also researched the heck out of his computer and all the files the men of letters had available. Nothing. Neither of them could understand what she had inferred. But they both knew really. Knew that it was something bad and that the changes were not going to be helpful. Sam and Cas secretly agreed that Dean was going to be turning into something bad. How bad? They had no idea. But they had to be ready for anything. Neither of them knew what state he would be in when he woke up and that was the reason for Sam's restlessness.

'When was the last time you slept?' Cas asked, suddenly aware of how fearful Sam was becoming.

It took Sam a minute to realise Cas was even directing the question to him. Why is he thinking about me, when Dean is a shell on the bed, he thought. 'Err….a few nights ago, I guess….Why?'

'Maybe you should take a rest, you look awful.' Castiel's innate honesty was what pissed Sam off the most.

'Oh...and I suppose Dean looks perfectly healthy!'

Cas looked down at the floor as Sam stared at Dean, wishing he could do something. Cas could sense that there was more to Sam's anxiousness than met the eye.

'Sam,' he began, eager to be there for him now that they had bonded. 'You and Dean...you two are okay, right?' Implying if the two brothers had cleared everything up and if Sam had forgiven Dean's reckless actions was a lot harder than Cas thought and the look of regret and sorrow on Sam's face, as he looked at the wall, tugged at Cas in a strange way that, for a moment, he thought he was still human. He truly didn't want to mention it, but, if Dean was changing into something different, Cas thought it was best that they remember Dean in a good way. Reminiscing the good things he had done. After a short silence, Sam spoke.

'...We're fine.' He replied. 'We are, we….we sorted it out.' Cas knew Sam was lying to himself and that something terrible must have happened before he had joined them. He decided to ask him, out right, the million-dollar question.

'Sam...' he continued, staring down at the ground before forcing himself to look up into those green eyes. ' Have you forgiven him?'

This silenced Sam as his eyebrows lowered and his eyes softened. Breathing heavily he refused to answer and exited the room swiftly, even more distressed than when he entered just a few minutes earlier.

XXXXX

The next few hours were kept silent. If Sam wasn't watching over Dean he would be researching more on the mark and the first blade. He even suggested summoning Crowley to see if he had found the blade yet but Castiel persuaded him against it. It wasn't until it started to get dark that Sam finally spoke up confidently, finding Cas looking through some more books in the bunker's library.

'So...I'm going to get the car.' he explained, a bit more composed than when they last spoke. They had driven the impala to the town where they had tracked the demons to and, due to the hurried exit, they had left it there.'The demons would have cleared off by now and Dean's going to be fuming if his car isn't here when he wakes up.'

'Sam.' Cas wasn't sure how much Sam had thought into it and wanted him to be prepared. 'You know, when Dean wakes up...' Sam gave an irritated sigh. He had already thought about this but he didn't really want to say it out loud for fear of it actually happening. 'He could be different. Bad different. Almost... ...demonic. You know that right?-'

'No!' Sam interrupted violently. 'No, okay...not him.' Castiel knew this was hard for both of them but they needed to come to the reality that with the mark comes dark power, dark power that enables the bearer to kill. To be able to kill knights of hell.

'Sam, the mark is from Lucifer,'

'I know. Okay, I know.' Sam couldn't think about this just now. He needed to get the car. Dean would be so mad if he woke up to find out that his baby had been left in a small, no-name town.

'That's not going to happen.' Sam retaliated. 'Okay, we're going to save him. We're going to find a way to save him. Cut his arm off if we have to, but he is not... ...turning into a demon. Okay, he's not.'

Sam was done talking as he packed up the rest of his stuff into a bag but Castiel thought it was a good idea to keep them talking.

'I know it's none of my business,' he started, still wondering whether he should be getting involved 'but, whether Dean dies, or wakes up as...' Unwilling to use the word demon he went for the more passive option. '...different. I think you should forgive him.'

This statement was too much to handle and Sam lashed out. 'You know what, Cas, if you haven't got anything to say that could help Dean...then keep your mouth shut.' Sam knew this was harsh but was fuming in the moment. Walking towards the door of the bunker, he hoped Cas would leave it but he was wrong.

'Dean wanted to save you only a few months ago.' This made Sam stop in his tracks, he hadn't wanted to think about it. 'He did what he thought was best by you.'

'No, he did what he thought was best...for him!'

'Tell me you wouldn't try anything you could to save Dean right now.' This made Sam turn around and look pensively towards Castiel's begging posture. 'Because Dean was in this exact same situation with you. And he saved your life because of it.'

Sam thought for a moment, not knowing what he looked like to Cas. Regretful? Worried? He didn't care. He had to get the car. Slamming the door slightly behind him, he left Cas in the large empty hall alone. This made Cas believe that he had not gotten through to him however Sam thought about the conversation for the entire 2 hour journey in one of the bunker's garage cars, and for another 2 hours driving the impala back home.

XXXXX

Castiel decided to leave before Sam returned to the bunker. It would give the brothers a chance to talk things out, or at least for Sam to have some time to think about things if Dean was still unconscious. And, on the other hand, if Sam was still pissed off, Cas didn't want be around.

Sam entered the empty place, tired from the long ride and still with the thought of Dean at the centre of his mind. Noticing instantly that Cas was gone, Sam wondered the worst. That Dean had woken up and had turned nasty. Walking slowly to Dean's room, scared at the thought of this being true, he found Dean still slumped on the bed where he left him. Cas must have gone out, he thought. But, where would Cas go? Sam quickly had a suspicion that Cas planned to leave so as to push him and his brother closer but didn't think on it for too long.

Feeling a sense of anguish, Sam came and sat next to Dean, not willing to leave him when he had only just got back. It was so weird seeing him like this. His older brother, the one who's supposed to be strong and the one who sorts everything out when it goes wrong. He's almost like a statue now. His face, and body, and arms all in exactly the same place they had been in the last time Sam saw him. Even if he was awake but screaming, even if Dean was in the worst pain possible but he was conscious would come as a gratification to Sam. At least he would be able to talk to him, comfort him...even tell him...

Sam looked at the ground once more, he couldn't stand the thought that, whilst Dean looked like he was sleeping peacefully, he could be changing into something that they hunt...and kill. Killing. If he was forced to...he couldn't. He couldn't kill his own brother.

No, he was going to save him. He was. Dean had always been there for him, especially all those years ago when Sam was worried he would turn evil, and when he almost did, being hyped up on demon blood. Dean stuck by him through all that. Dean had gone to hell for him. He had burned for him, been with him through the apocalypse, even when it was all his fault, and even got his soul back from hell. And the trials. Sam wouldn't have be able to get through them if it wasn't for him, and then he saved his life...again. Dean had saved his life.

Sam could only think of a few words which, almost accidentally, escaped his dry mouth.

'I forgive you, Dean.'

Sam couldn't stop the tears which had been building up over the past week. The worst part was the idea that the last time Dean was himself he must have thought that Sam hated him. That he was never go to forgive him. Sam just wanted his brother back with him, so he could forgive him properly.


	5. Chapter 5

He needed to wake up. Dean could feel his body, so static. He couldn't move, couldn't open his eyes. But Sam needs me, he thought. Dean didn't even know if he was okay but he needed to see him. He didn't know where he was or how he'd got there. He didn't know if he was in pain, he could still be screaming for all he knew. With all the force he could muster...he opened his eyes into slits.

The bunker. At least, he thought he was in the bunker. Yes, he must be in the bunker. Such a fuzzy view of the ceiling made his head hurt so he shut his eyes quickly again. After a moment he risked the outside world once again and opened his eyes again, a bit wider this time.

He was alone. In his own bedroom. He liked it. It meant Sam and Cas were okay because they must have brought him here, and they were not in the room so he could avoid the annoying, awkward 'are you okay?' conversations. He could just lay there, almost dreaming, just for a moment, without anyone hassling him.

It wouldn't last, he thought. Any minute now Sam would rush in and shout his name and be so relieved that he was okay and ruin Dean's last peaceful rest. Wow, he was starving. How long had he been under? Mouth dry and stomach moaning, he must have been asleep for at least a few days.

He knew he would evidently have to get up so, trying to sit upright, he moved his arms. No, that hurt. The arm bearing the mark releasing a dull ache all over his body. He spent a while just moving his arms around, trying to get used the the constant pain being created. Moaning a little, he finally sat up.

Major head rush. Woah, he was going to collapse again, he was sure of it. Sam entered just at the right time.

'Dean!'

Before Dean could fall backwards back onto the pillows Sam steadied him from the side.

'Woah, woah...Dean, take it easy.'

Here it comes, the comforting talk. All Dean wanted was to get up and eat something. Another dose of pain shot through him forcing Dean to grab his right arm, covering the mark with his left hand as though that would muffle the pain.

It was at this point that Castiel entered the room. However it wasn't by conventionally walking through the door. This was the morning after Cas had decided to leave Sam alone for a bit to help him think. He had spent the night browsing through the human world. The human world he, for a short amount of time, used to be apart of. He had spent hours exploring shops he used to go to, and buying food he used to crave. They all tasted the same to him now. He almost missed that life. At some points he felt like he should be sleeping, but he didn't even need to do that anymore.

Before leaving the bunker, he wanted to make sure Dean would be okay with him gone. So, he decided to monitor him. Create a link between his brain and Dean's so that if he ever woke, or...got worse, he would feel it. He had returned knowing Dean had awoken.

Dean noticed the angel instantly and spoke with a confused expression.

'Cas?'

Sam looked up from Dean now, also noticing the angel.

'Where have you been?' Sam asked curiously whilst struggling to keep Dean upright.

Cas took a while to think of a response. 'Out.' he came up with before walking over to the bed to help Sam. However Dean had had enough.

'Get off me,' he demanded as he finally steadied himself and could see everything clearly again. The pain was subsiding and he could hear the heartbeat in his head getting quieter.

'Okay, okay,' Sam replied, putting his hands up as a surrender.

Cas and Sam stood staring and waiting for Dean to say something else. They needed to make sure that this was Dean...that he hadn't turned into something unpleasant. Dean had no idea he was been accessed for his own mental state, as far as he was concerned, he was still the same old Dean.

Sam gave a worried look to Cas who returned with a concerned narrowing of the eyes. How would they know if Dean was himself?

Dean answered both their distressed questions with a rubbing of the stomach. 'God, I'm starving!'

He's fine, they both thought, but both also kept aware that the situation could change at any time.

XXXXX

'How long did you say I was out for?' Dean asked, mouth full of food.

'About...' Sam replied, checking his watch again. '5 days now'

'Wow. I don't remember anything.' Dean had managed to stuff 3 burgers down him in the past hour and was not stopping there. 'I think we should order take out.' he suggested and Sam chuckled. Both him and Cas were glad Dean was back with them and missed his annoying but amusing comments that made, even this situation, just that little bit lighter. Sam was happy just straying from the subject but Cas wanted to make absolutely certain that they were in no further danger…

'Dean...how do you feel?' he asked wearily.

Dean, becoming aware of the vacant stares and quiet atmosphere, swallowed before speaking. 'I'm okay, I guess. Why do you ask?'

Sam, slightly mad that Cas had brought it up, wanted to keep things happy for as long as possible.

'Maybe because you were a vegetable for almost a week.' Sam answered, jokingly.

Dean chuckled under his breath. 'So, how did we escape? Abaddon must have been at that hide out and I don't remember legging it.'

'Er...Cas deserves all the credit' Sam answered, gesturing to him before sitting down next to Dean.

'No way.' Dean uttered, feeling like a proud father as he turned to look at Cas.

'I...as you would put it…"played" her.' Cas explained to a surprised Dean.

Not knowing what else to say Dean smiled. 'Okay!...Good.'

Suddenly, Cas sensed the brothers wanted time to talk alone. The angel still didn't know if he had persuaded Sam to forgive Dean but he thought it best if he quickly made up an excuse and exited.

'I'm...going to...' failing to come up with anything good, Cas panicked. '...er...go over there.' He gestured to another part of the bunker before walking out of earshot of the two boys. Sam raised his eyebrows, understanding what Cas was trying to do, whilst Dean looked confused and wondered what was going on. He was still wondering when Sam started talking and it wasn't until it got all touchy-feeling, pull-on-my-heartstrings deep, did he realise what was happening.

'So...Dean-' Sam started, not really sure where he was going.

'Okay, what happened back there?' Dean interrupted, having noticed the suspicion that had been rising in the room.

'I'm sorry?' Sam looked genuinely confused by this.

'Something must happened with Abaddon. She must have said something or done something because you two are acting like all sorts of weird.'

Sam knew they had to break it to Dean some time, but not right now. Right now, he just wanted them...to be brothers.

'It's okay. It, it was nothing.'

'Sam.'

'It doesn't matter Dean!' Sam looked down again once again, disappointed that it had almost turned into an argument. 'Look, please can we just...not fight.' Sam unintentionally reminded himself of what his father had once said to him. This comment surprised Dean more than anything and he pushed his empty plate away from him, directing a confused look at Sam as though he was an alien.

'You feeling okay?' Dean asked, slowly realising how hard it could have been for Sam and Cas, not knowing if he was going to wake up and what state he would be in when he did. Yes, Dean had thought about it. Ever since Sam developed demonic powers he had been curious around evil, Lucifer-touched-me, voodoo crap. Dean thought about all this before he agreed to take the burden from Cain, but he still agreed. Of course he agreed. If it was the only way to kill Abaddon, of course he had to take it and accept what would happen to him. Dean suddenly understood the reason for the stares and awkward silences but kept up his accusing look at Sam.

'Yeah,' Sam replied. 'Just um...' Sam knew he had to do this now, he almost lost his brother, he couldn't let this moment pass. 'When you were...out of it, I...' Dean now looked more confused than ever but Sam had started now. 'Well, I guess, I started to understand why you did some of the things that you did, involving me...'

Not knowing whether his brother understood him, Sam looked hopefully to Dean. Dean understood him completely, Sam had forgiven him. His brother had actually forgiven him. Dean couldn't help but smile slightly but Sam wanted to make sure everything was cleared up.

'I'm just saying-'

'I know.' Dean interrupted. He didn't want this to get too emotional, he had only just got back into the world of the living but he didn't need Sam to spell it out for him. 'Sammy, I know.'

For a while, the two boys smiled at eachother and years could have passed. For both brothers, it felt like they were children again. Like when Sam would apologise for keeping Dean up all night, making up stories and talking about the supernatural.

'Are you two going to hug, or what?'

Castiel's voice came from the next room. Knowing he must have listened into the entire conversation, the brothers said nothing. With a smile and gesture from Dean, Sam stood up and pulled his brother into a hug. The first hug in months.

Everything was going to be okay. At least for now...all three of them knew that their luck had never run this smoothly. Something was bound to go wrong, Dean thought. I'm bound to go wrong.


	6. Chapter 6

So…Sam and Dean were brothers again. What could possibly be wrong with that? Well, now Sam had the excuse to look after Dean and Dean was getting pretty pissed off with it.

'I'm fine, okay, stop looking at me like I'm gonna explode Sam!'

Sam kept asking if Dean was hungry, if he was getting enough sleep if he felt any more pain. It was getting so annoying but Sam couldn't help it. To be honest with himself, he felt guilty. He felt bad that he hadn't forgiven Dean sooner. He still thought that Dean screwed up big time, but it must have been stressful and Dean did what he thought was right in the heat of the moment. Sam just wanted to forget about what happened completely and to concentrate on being there for his brother, like Dean was there for him.

'I'm just looking out for you Dean!'

'Wow,' Castiel, having wandered into the room and into this head-butting argument stood watching the two boys as if they were a museum piece. He wasn't going to add anything to his one-word comment but Dean took offence.

Crinkling his eyebrows he said 'I'm sorry?' The brothers turned to look at the angel, both ready to burn off some fuel onto someone else, seeing as they were only just back on talking basis.

'Um...' Castiel answered, completely happy to relay his thoughts. 'Just, you two...' Sam and Dean both gave similar, I-got-nothing, expressions on their faces, entirely oblivious to what Cas meant. Cas rolled his eyes whilst exhaling a breath, 'You've barely just apologised to each other and you're almost close to throwing punches again.' Dean gave his look of surrender and Sam gave his look of paranoia.

'Right, okay,' Dean started, facing the angel. 'You got anything useful to add, Cas?'

'Yes,' Castiel demanded back. '...actually, I think we should talk about the mark.' Sam understood but Dean was still oblivious to what Abaddon had threatened. It was 2 days after Dean had awoken and Cas thought he had delayed enough time to talk about it.

'You're not trying to convince me that it was a bad call again, are you?' Dean retorted, making Sam pull a worried expression behind him. Castiel stayed silent, still racking his brains to figure out how they were going to tell Dean and how they were going to...monitor him. Make sure he doesn't turn...bad.

'Look,' Sam began, walking in front of Dean and facing him next to Castiel. Both of them staring strangely at Dean made him uncomfortable and he even thought they were playing a joke for a moment. 'This doesn't mean that we're not going to be there for you, Dean, okay?'

Dean crinkled his eyebrows and listened intently whilst his two friends told him everything that Abaddon had said. Though it was worse than Dean first imagined, he had anticipated the conversation and was ready for anything.

'Okay, so what? I mean it doesn't really change anything does it?' Dean replied after Sam and Cas finished explaining the events.

Now it was Sam and Cas's turn to look confused, what was Dean saying?

'I'm not an idiot. Okay, I know how this works. This mark is from Lucifer. Normally, I wouldn't have taken it, trust me, I wouldn't. It was a fast-made-decision and even if I was to go back, I would do the same thing...because we need this, okay. This' Dean continued, indicating his arm. 'is the only weapon we have against that black-eyed-bitch. Now, I didn't care what the after-effects were, I took it. It was my choice, my burden...and I'll accept the consequences. Even if that means...' Yes, he was going to say it. The concept that had been easily avoided by all three of them since he had first collapsed. '...even if it means that I change...into a demon.'

The two men listening looked at each other out of astonishment more than concern. Sam even wondered if something else had happened to make Dean think up these things.

'Dean, don't-'

'Sam.' Dean interrupted casually. 'I think I spent enough time taking care of you and your demonic powers to pick up a thing or two.' Dean's slight attempt to lighten the mood just made things even more awkward and now Sam looked even more annoyed. 'Look...I know that this mark must be powerful...and seeing as it couldn't possibly be good power, it must be evil or...I don't know, something demonic! Either way, this mark...it's going to do something to me. I mean, when have we ever had it easy? This is going to happen. It is...I just have to accept that. And you guys do too.'

'No.' Sam said immediately. He had only just got his brother back, he was not going to lose him all over again. Dean stayed silent, he had nothing more to say to try and convince Sam that this was the right thing but Cas started talking before anything else could happen.

'Dean...we don't know anything about this mark.' Cas began, ready to express an unpleasant idea.

'I know-' Dean started to argue.

'No, Dean...' Cas really didn't want to say it and the tension in the room was becoming uncomfortable even for him but they had to regard everything. With heaps of reluctance Cas exclaimed 'How do we know this is you talking?' Dean looked instantly shocked. Out of all the things he was expecting Cas to put forward, that was not on his list.

'Are you kidding?' he replied almost not believing his ears.

'Cas is right,' Sam agreed. Dean chuckled a little as he convinced himself that they were screwing with him.

'Oh, come on!' he yelled, making Cas and Sam turn to each other for even more support. 'We're in this place for starters!' Dean continued, waving around, indicating the bunker. 'I mean, this place is sigilled and demon-protected like crazy. Do you really think it would have let me in here if I wasn't myself?' Eyeing each other Sam and Cas were swayed by this comment but held their ground nonetheless. Sensing they needed more persuasion, Dean went on. 'And then there's the fact that I was practically brain-dead for a week. Doesn't really sound like demonic material, does it?' He ranted, giving questioning, condescending looks to the angel and his brother. ' And then there's the anti-possession symbol still tattooed to my chest' he added, lowering his blue shirt to reveal the intact marking which Sam and Cas carefully looked over. 'Okay?' Dean continued sarcastically, noticing the checks he was being put through. 'I'm not possessed!'

'But you will be!' Sam shouted across the bunker, finally having enough of Dean's moaning. Dean stopped in his tracks and immediately forgot what he was talking about as he looked, astounded at his brother. Cas, only just starting to feel awkward, stared between the brothers. 'Dean, are you really happy... becoming a demon'

'Of course not!' Dean answered back violently. Even the thought of it made Dean's stomach flip and he hated the idea. It reminded him of his time in hell…specifically the last 10 years in which he tortured helpless souls. He pushed the memories out of his mind and mentally demanded that he never let himself be turned like that. He spoke the only words he could think of to save the dilemma. 'That's why you have to kill me.'

All three figures stood for a while, silent. Sam began to look distressed, mainly because he knew Dean was right in what he said and that, if it were him, he would want the same thing. Cas didn't know what to say or do to comfort either of the brothers so he just waited for Sam to speak.

'You don't mean that,' Sam tried to believe his words but he couldn't. He was lying to himself, he knew Dean meant it. Of course he meant it. He could tell Dean was trying to reply but he couldn't. It was true, Dean didn't know what to say or where to go next. 'Don't ask me to do that.' Sam prompted again, genuinely tearful at the thought of killing his brother. This nudged Dean to say the right thing and to pull the card that both brother's knew would convince Sam.

'Sam, there was a time when you asked me to kill you.'

Sam softened his gaze but was not going to cave in that easily. 'Yeah, you didn't'

'No, because, as I said, that's not in me.' Dean replied, suddenly knowing exactly what to say. 'But it's in you.'

Realising what Dean was saying Sam panicked. Oh, God, even Dean thinks I'm a dick. Nice going Sam, yeah why not adopt a dog and get a girlfriend whilst your brother fights for his life in purgatory? Yeah, why not? I'm such an idiot, Sam thought. 'You're saying I'm heartless?' Sam said in a tender voice.

'No, no.' Dean replied quickly. Sam looked up and Dean smiled slightly making Sam wonder why. 'No, Sammy.' Dean finished before he ran out of words and turned to walk away with a drink in his hand, wanting to be alone for just a bit. His fallen angel was left to comfort his baby brother.


End file.
